Here’s a controversial line I read the other day:
“We cannot force another country to change its values and customs so they better reflect our own. But we don't have to accept them, either. Some customs and values are not worthy of our tolerance.”
Do you agree or disagree?
It’s a thorny issue. Most of us understand the virtue of tolerance—and the dangers of too much tolerance at the same time.
It’s so thorny, in fact, that we ask G‑d every day (three times a day, no less!) to help us with this very issue.
Allow me to explain.
Protect Me … From Abraham?
Our parshah introduces us to one of our nation’s greatest characters: its founder, Abraham. His story is a colorful one, full of twists and turns and a general bucking of trends. One such story is how he single handedly intervenes in a war between nine kings on behalf of his nephew Lot, and helps the underdogs pull off a victory.
After these dramatic events, we read:
The word of G‑d came to Abram in a vision, saying, “Fear not, Abram; I am your Shield; your reward is exceedingly great.”1
In this vein, we make a blessing thrice daily in the Amidah prayer, “... the shield of Abraham.”
The words are simple enough. But one Chassidic master treats these words and comes up with an extremely counterintuitive interpretation, essentially rendering the words as a blessing to G‑d “... Who protects/shields us FROM Abraham.” Instead of reading it as, “G‑d, protect us as You did Abraham,” we are to understand it as, “G‑d, please protect us from Abraham.” Similarly, when G‑d told Abraham, “I am your shield,” the intention was, “Abraham, I will protect you from yourself.”
What does that mean? Why would we want to be shielded from Abraham? He was one of the all-time greats!
And why would Abraham need to be protected from himself?
Too Much Tolerance
Abraham was the paragon of kindness. Pure, unbridled, uninhibited kindness. His four-sided tent with doors open to passersby from every direction is the stuff of legends. In Kabbalistic thought, Abraham embodied the supernal attribute of chessed, G‑d’s character of love and kindness. In contrast, his son, Isaac, is the one known as the stern disciplinarian.
Now, kindness is great, an abundance of kindness even better, but left completely uninhibited, it’s absolutely catastrophic. When “peace and love” are completely unfettered, you get Abraham’s other son: Ishmael—a thieving, lewd, and brute individual.
When you’re too nice, you become tolerant of things you really shouldn’t be tolerating. Sometimes, you must rein in the niceness and exercise discipline, being a bit more discriminate with what you tolerate.
To simply pick up your hands and say, “I accept. I want to be nice and will not do anything to show discipline or disapproval,” may sound noble, but ultimately, it’s a shortsighted mistake. At some point, your allowance may even be interpreted as endorsement—first by others, and then ultimately, by you, yourself. This is not an outcome anyone wants.
It was a mistake for Abraham to tolerate Ishmael and allow him to grow into the unforgivable character he became, and we shouldn’t do the same.
Protect Me From Myself
That’s why G‑d blessed Abraham with protection from … himself. For the wisdom to sometimes exercise the necessary discipline and discernment to navigate life and not unintentionally spawn off terrible results.
We, too, need that blessing. Every day, our inner Abraham naturally wakes up roaring and ready to be nice to everyone, to be uber tolerant of everything. And that’s a good thing. It’s the natural state of being for most people because G‑d indeed does want us to be accepting, to be tolerant, and to be loving.
But we could also use a blessed amount of help to maintain the moral and emotional intelligence to know when it’s time to put a lid on that tolerance, to put up a “shield.” So three times a day we ask G‑d to “Shield us from Abraham.” Protect us from ourselves, and give us the courage to be discerning when we ought to be.2

He who practices tolerance acts as a master rather than an equal. It is a power relationship. To tolerate something or someone means we recognize that we are better. I await the person within this discussion who has tried to understand the word itself and how it operates rather than beginning the discussion quoting the rebbe, the torah, or all kinds of other things. First things first please!
Interesting: i just read a bit about unconditional love. I found it best defined as giving room to another. Tolerance indeed is not giving that room as i see it: its claiming the whole room and allocate a little corner for others
The discussion is from a Torah perspective and its illustrative Jew is Abraham, not Adler.
First things first? Torah comes first. What do you think comes first?
Tolerance is not necessarily about some sense of self aggrandizement. It could be intolerance if evil. Of what we think is injustice. Of abuse.
Not being able to deal with people who are different than us is not intolerance. It is ego driven. It is possibly narcissistic in origin. Not really important since studying those things is a waste of precious time unless you're in the business of helping people with those issues. Getting caught up diagnosing people's issues is where a sense of being "better than" another comes in.
It is not always easy to tolerate people who frustrate or annoy us. Usually it seems to stem from seeing in them something that actually exists in us. If we figure that out we can work on self improvement.
Unconditional love. Why are people so fascinated and obsessed with that idea? It is an oxymoronic concept. If you care about someone you want them to be happy more than yourself. Is that conditional? No. Does that mean you will tolerate any conditions that they subject you to? No. If one does then that is where a toleration of abuse in the disguise of love comes in.
Dues G-d have "conditions" for us? Yes. They are called mitzvahs. The 7 Noahide Lass and by-laws. These are things that please Him when we do them and don't please Him when we do what He does not like. Does that mean G-d doesn't love us when we do them? Or when we don't do them? Not exactly. It means we will have to do something to show Him that we do actually care about Him. Start doing things He wants and stop doing things He doesn't want. Do teshuvah when we stray.
Do we really believe that people who go their whole lives not caring about others, being stingy with tzedaka (charity), are the same as G-d focused people?